When life becomes a big greasy gerbil....: May 2006

When life becomes a big greasy gerbil....

NOW AIN'T THIS JUST A PEACH.....

malcontent \mal-kuhn-TENT; MAL-kuhn-tent\, noun:

1. One who is discontented or dissatisfied.
2. A discontented subject of a government; one who opposes an established order.
3. Discontented; uneasy; dissatisfied.

Her antagonism inspired him, pushed him into ever more extreme positions, and by the time he was ready to leave the house, and go off to college, he had indelibly cast himself in his chosen role: as malcontent, as rebel, as outlaw poet prowling the gutters of a ruined world.
-- Paul Auster, Timbuktu

W.T.F.

this is for all of my fine friends that may have written me and wondered W.T.F., Why hasn't he written me and whats shane up too?

Truth is, I have been backed into a corner and the future of my child is at stake. To strip this of its dramatic overtones, I will just say that a custody battle has begun between two people that , quite honestly, Don't look good on paper. I think I have a decent chance but the battle has just begun. The opponet has a couple of unfair advantages (Who said life was fair) but I have truth and tenacity on my side......Now all I need is a good lawyer.

Those that have been here closest to the trenches know what the best alternative is for Izzy. These are not just my friends but hers too. When ones own friends would stand against you to say and do whats right for a child I think is very telling. Some of her friends stand beside me. Really, I honestly cannot tell you what I have already and will in the future,weather for this child nor can I describe for those whom are childless, the extent of where an unconditional childs love would take you in battle for the said childs future. All I can say with certainty is that , Life weary I may be, I have only begun to fight.

I love you all and I will properly contact all of you as soon as I am able , Individually and properly with the respect of a proper response. In the meantime I am hunkered in the bunker with the fight of my life ahead. I have fucked up before so many times but this is my all because what I have is all I ever wanted and I plan to keep this treasure of a child as close to my heart as I possibly can. I am so sorry mommy, This is not the way it was supposed to be nor the way I wanted it but frankly this is the way it is and I move forward.