When life becomes a big greasy gerbil....

Imagine, If you will...

If this becomes a little too "Stream of conciousness" for you , I apologize, I am exhausted and yet cannot sleep.
I am sitting here praying to Jesus to change my Orange Kool-Aid into Ambien but he just keeps putting me on hold.
I suppose thats OK as I am enjoying the simple pleasure of the Kool-Aid anyway, It reminds me of my Granny Graham,
A woman whom has passed and and is missed and remembered fondly. She had no small resemblance to Irene Ryan of
the Beverly Hillbillys fame, Hence the name "Granny". I spent many summer days at her place mowing the lawn, Gardening, Making plastic parachutes for those small green plastic army men from thread and empty bread wrappers and reading the sunday "Funnie Pages"
as she called them. I seem to remember that this is where I learned the "Post-Modern Pop Art "technique of reproducing
the comics into "Art". I suppose later in life all those hours of reproducing Snoopy and Charlie Brown came in handy as a painter.
I look forward to the day that the gardening skills and canning foods comes in to play again but this is for another day as now
I think I want to talk about my new job.........

DID HE SAY NEW JOB???

Tuesday I started a new job, Part time of course but nonetheless a job. I had to do this as my partner and I are seriously
struggling financially (Like many others). The goverment has (Effectively) tried to starve me out while waiting on a disability,
Pain or no pain, I had to do something.....My D.P. (Thats domestic partner, not double penetration) was a little uneasy with
letting me work in my painting studio 20 hours a week so she quietly manipulated me into getting a "Real" nine dollar an hour
job as a porn store book clerk. This has grated at me as I am certain painting I can make a shitload more money for the time
invested but I suppose I do have something to prove too. One, I am not too good to work a shit job (God knows its not the first shit job I have had). I now work as a cum mopper and clerk in a porno bookstore/ Movie arcade. Two, when I am able to return to art I will have the satisfaction of quietly (or not) saying "I told you so" as I pull in larger sums of cash that would have taken me weeks to bring in at nine bucks an hour. I have done it before and will do it again....Fucking Soon!


Tuesday was a LOOOOONG day spent at the warehouse meeting the "Family" of the business heirarchy for approval in hiring and getting
a glimpse of the products being sold and packing up boxes of new DVDs to take back to the city. That was not so bad although a rather long day but then it was off to the store to actually start the training process. 4pm to 2 am......And no, their is NO paid lunch.......

The job itself will likely be a fairly simple task as the software itself for sales is relatively simple, The correct sequence of a half a dozen prompts and the transactions are done. Fraternazation is frowned upon and quite frankly thats fucking easy enough. Sweeping up the movie booths of all of the empty lube bottles and tissue is pretty fucking nasty but I suppose that goes without saying. I am certain that as a clerk I will have some "interesting" stories but I just hope I can get through this ordeal with a shred of humanity intact. Being one with a tendancy towards misanthropy, this can be a dangerous proposition. I suppose that mostly I find it all very sad. The couples whom come in are rather endearing, Exploring thier sexuality together, Shopping for toys and movies to enhance thier sexual forays. There was a cute couple of "Lipstick Lesbians" that kind of surprised me. Their presense didn't really fuel any raging fantasies but I thought that it was interesting that they were not above shopping in the store. Maybe they were slumming it,Who knows....I prefer to think that the place isn't so classless that they too can shop in ease. But then thier was
the "Cigarrette Smoking Man".

the "Cigarrette Smoking Man"

Sure, There were some seriously shady motherfuckers hanging around and I certainly do not relish the thought of being downtown Chicago
in the middle of the night in a store that has NO windows or street visibility, No bulletproof glass and no firearm. This is a crackheads dream, My nightmare. I digress here though, The Cigarette smoking man was the first of many (I am sure) colorful characters that I had the pleasure of
meeting. Stone Fucking Freak. Three words, Stone Fucking Freak. I have been warned that he does come into the shop wearing boxers and a t shirt with sandals quite frequently but I was spared his "Normal" attire. He was wearing pants so at least this was a bit of a spareing grace. This guy looks too normal for one thing, That always makes me nervous, Not TV evangalist or Republican normal, Just blend into the woodwork normal you know, Ted Bundy normal. Maybe he's just a harmless pervert and I am hyping the drama on this judgement,But he jangles my nerves regardless. Why is he called "the cigarette man" you ask? Well..............

Profusely sweating he "Previews" movies in the booths, This is when for a seven dollar fee any DVD in stock can be viewed privately and in its entirety. He comes in with a fresh, Unopened pack of cigarrettes and a brand new butane lighter and proceeds to chainsmoke the entire pack over the course of two or three DVDs and then always takes a break after the first pack to go and purchase the second pack. He then proceeds back to his booth to smoke the second pack Fast forwarding the DVDs and renting another. This happens throughout 5 or 6 rentals.This is a set in stone ritual that is performed on a nightly basis If I am to understand correctly. I only witnessed it my first night and for some reason I found it all rather disturbing and then when he left the store he had a HUGE cumstain on the outside right shoulder on the back of his jacket which he wore as he slid out into the shitty Chicago night. I mentioned this to the clerk training me in whispered tones and he said "That ain't nuthin' , In the summer he has the entire front of his T-shirt covered in cum stains". The upside is that he always leaves a "New" lighter, albeit a little greasy but only used for the 40 cigarrettes that he smoked throughout the evening. Talk about "Perks", A fucking free lighter. I feel like the luckiest boy in the whole world.